Web Communities

1. If you are a girl from the Phillipenes, you can only use celebrities and cartoons as your profile pics. You cannot enter any information about yourself except for the fact that you are from the Phillipenes, and then you must send out 5 bazillion “ADD ME” messages to everyone.

2. If you want to be scene, you must take a picture of yourself in the mirror looking away from the camera. It must be black and white and tilted. Then you have to enter in a lyric from a Dashboard or Death Cab song as your quote.

3. if your a scene girl you have to put in your profile that you like making out and hawt boys with tattoos and piercings. It doesn’t matter if your 15 and your boyfriend can’t get them for 3 years. You have to have a lot of stuff on the page pink and proclaim it’s the new black.

4. if your a scene boy you have to put in your profile that you don’t understand the world and that everyone hates you. Also a plug for your crappy emo band that no one cares about. Pink text is also mandatory.

5. If you drive a rice rocket, all your pictures have to be of your car, or you next to your car with some big tittied models from the car show you went to (we all no you didn’t get any so stop telling people you did). Also you can only list Tupac, 50 Cent, and Drum n’ Bass in your music catagory.

6. If your goth, you have to have atleast one picture of you in a grave yard to prove how goth you really are. Then in the about me section you have to write how the world doesn’t understand you and how you hate everyone. Your bands must include either Nine Inch Nails or Bauhaus, your movies have to have atleast one Tim Burton flick (most likely Nightmare Before X-mas), and you have to put Edgar Allan Poe on your book list.

7. Strippers, put pics of you almost showing titty with a link to your porn site. Your list of General Interests has to include “Hanging out with all my great friends”, “Shopping”, “Hanging Out”, and some other bull. You also have to have a bunch of pictures of yourself all over your profile besides being in the “profile pics” section.

8. If your going to fake a celebrity, make sure you only have the celebs info right, you use all promo shots that have been in every magazine for the last 7 months, and then write how you want to meet all your fans because you love them so much. When you get caught by another myspace user for being a fraud, delete them off your friends and then tell everyone in a buliten how you wish all these fakers would stop imitating you, the “real” britney spears.

9. Raver Kids. AlL yOuR tExT oN yOuR pRoFiLe hAs toO lOOk LiKE tHiS. You “LOVE” trance, house, jungle, beats. If your a girl you have to list your measurements and turn ons. if your a guy you have to put in the “People I’d like to Meet:” section hot chicks and party people. You should also have a lot of animated pictures on your page and the stars or butterflies that follow the mouse around the screen. Don’t forget the mp3 of your favorite house track made in to an annoying midi file. Also you need a shit load of lame comments saying “yEr hOtT! lEtS hOOkUp!”

10. When doing a band page be sure to mention that you don’t sound like anything anyone’s ever heard before even though we know damn well your new song is “Anthem” by Good charolette with the chords played reversed. You need a picture of the band looking all hardcore like you can kick some ass even though your all 4’11” and weaker than my 5 year old nephew. Don’t forget the “We use this page as a way to spread our message of blah blah blah” line that no one cares about and how your trying to take on the world. The record labels and eleventeen year olds eat that shit up!

11. If your going for the Pro Hoe metal mullisha trucker hat pulled to the side with a straight flipped bill, then you need to include that you ride a fast 50 and mention that you’ve ridden in Mike Menetta’s truck or you’ve been to Porno Dave’s house in Canyon Country. Oh always mention that you like tattoos and piercings and that you go to glamis and lake havasu

12. Nu-Style “HIP HOP” Always inlclude photos of yourself with corn rowwed hair and a NBA throwback jersy and hat are a must. Use the words Mah, Holla, Bling, YYeeeahhh, and WHAT!!!! in you profile and come up with a nikname that Yoggi bear would use…

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